Seeing through Aroma

Seeing Through Aroma

Chapter 1: Orange and Lemon Grass

Every one of us has his own struggles and challenges in our daily lives. One might actually be not able to sleep at night and he has to wake up before the dawn breaks,

or a student might not be able to solve a simple algebraic equation right now while having his math exams, or an aspiring Navy might be taking Ishihara test and not able to distinguish the right color and fail from it.

It is a struggle indeed and some of it might be irreversible and has no permanent solutions to that. Either way, we tend to deal with these struggle in order to survive and go on with our lives.

As ordinary and as common as other people around this world, I too have my own struggles, but I am not going to tell you this early and just go on reading through me. Enjoy - Laugh, Cry, Get mad and fall in love as you go along with my story.

This is not an out of this world story but rather it will just be as simple as what you are going through right now. It's just that there is one thing that makes it special and different from any one from you or maybe, there another person just like me and might be able to understand what I am going through right now.

I remember when I was little, my family lived in a small town with very few neighborhood, so I usually just spend time at home and not like any other kids who play outside who run and get along with each other and then go home very dirty and happy.

I was happy too then but it was somehow different from the usual experience of a typical kid since I play with my parents and two siblings- By the way I am the youngest.

Then I started going to school and things got a bit hard. I was struggling on how to approach my classmates! I got scared but when I looked at my teacher I got a bit confused but it calms me a little bit, I guess I am seeing a common image from her face but a bit confusing. I looked at my classmates again and they too were a bit confusing.

It continued until I reached my High School years. It was tough for me because I usually do not go along with other children in our school because I am confused and scared!

I did not even tell my parents about it although they were asking "how's school?"- every day- despite the fact that they sent and fetch me from school every day. I just shrug my shoulder and say,'Uhm, it's okay. Nothing's new"

But I guess they notice my aloofness getting worst day by day. I even got confused lately with my dad and brother, I am finding it hard to distinguish who is who since my older brother got tall now, same as my dad's height. They actually might be a perfect example of "Like father like son", they seem to be very alike in all aspect including the perfume and the way they dress as well as they're body built. It seems dad has not gotten any older since then.

As for mom and Sissy, she stand out from mom because of her pastel coloured outfits and her sweet flowery scent, while mom is more of citrusy.

One day my mom asked me,''Honey, is everything really okay?"

"Yes mom, why'd you ask?"

"Uhm, I get confused too sometimes honey."

"hhhmmm? Of what mom?"

"I have been watching you since you were a child. You seem to have no problem with your eyesight don't you?

"Nope, I guess so? I can clearly read even at a distance. Why'd you ask mom?"

"You always get confused with your dad and Sam lately but when you are reading I've observed and assume that you can clearly see since you are very fond of reading books since you were a little child. Tell me, what are you seeing honey?

Then I get more confused when mom asked me this.

I can clearly read but I cannot distinguish my family's face?

Everything flashed back.

When we went to the mall when I was seven years old with my mother and I saw a gorgeous wrist watch, my hand got lose from my mother because I approached the stall where the watch is then I realized later on that I lost my mother so I was crying while shouting for her name, to my surprise, a lady approached me and hugged me while saying –"Honey, I am just here in front of you, stop crying now" and I did not recognized her by looking at her face but I recognized her voice and her citrusy scent and I stopped crying and said, "Mom?", "Yes Honey it's me. Let's go home now."

And Yes! Even my classmates and my teachers, I cannot recognize them by looking at their face. And I have been hiding it from them ever since. They just thought that I am snob or whatever but the truth is, I got confused!

I can only recognize some by remembering their common scent, or a special feature on their face the likes of having a beard, or the difference between their heights.

I do not really know what is going on but it has been like this for so long and now my mother knew about it already.

"Mom, I dunno either."

"Come here honey! I will tell your father regarding this one, he has to know also about this."

"Mom, not now please? Until we figure out what's this"

"Okay, but please let me bring you to the hospital tomorrow for you to be checked, will that be fine?"

"Yes mom."

"You go to your room now. Get yourself fixed and have a rest okay?"

And I nodded and went upstairs.

I lay down to me bed staring at the ceiling, procrastinating. Then I got out from my bed and grabbed our family album.

I was crying while flipping the pages, looking at the pictures on by one. At first it was not hard to recognize some photos since we have different heights. But as I was flipping the other albums that was just filed recently, I cannot distinguish Sam from dad and mom from my Sissy- Sarah.

Why can't I recognize them? What's wrong with me? Am I sick or something?

I went back to my bed and cried. I did not noticed that I fell asleep.

Next thing I know was I can feel the warmth and the radiance of the sun, the sun is up for another day!

This will be the day that we will know what's really wrong with me!

My mom called our teacher to inform her that I cannot make it today. She made an alibi and I've heard their conversation over the phone.

"Yes Miss Jenner, It's the schedule for the annual medical exam so no need to worry.

Thank you Miss Jenner, Bye."

"Mom"

"Oh, are you good to go?"

"Yes mom, but quite anxious. I am a bit scared. I dunno what's gonna be the result after this."

"So do I. But Let us just hope for something not to worry that much. Whatever this maybe, I am always here, We are here Honey, Okay?"

"Yes mom"

After we had our breakfast, we went to the hospital and seek a consultation with an ophthalmologist, Dr. Hannah Garner.

She used stuffs which I dunno. She let me see through a machine with a hot air balloon inside. Then she let me read all the number in different colored dots.

She also let me read those letters then she went back to her desk and asked mom," Do you have any picture there of your family members?"

"Yes, I have it on my wallet, let me get it doctor"

Then the doctor asked me," Okay now do you see this photo?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me who is in this picture?"

"Hmmmm, I am not quite sure, I guess it's Sam."

"Now this one?"

"Sarah?"

"Okay how about this one?"

"Sam?"

"Okay. Ma'am, Your child has a 20/20 vision and she can clearly read without the need for eyeglasses. However, ..."

"However?"

"Yes, however, your child is one of those who have what we call prosopagnosia."

"proso... proso what doctor?

"Prosopagnosia. Or in layman's that is what we call face blindness."

"Face blindness?"

"Yes, face blindness. It is a neurological condition where in a person has an inability to recognize face and it ranges from less to not seeing any facial features the likes of the eyes, eyebrow, lips, nose etc. Some cases sees all facial features but somehow everything is rambled, mixed or seeing an upside down face."

"But how? hoo...how did it happened? To my child? I do not understand! I took all precautions during pregnancy and we raised the child with so much precautions!"

"I understand that you are an upset and worried mother right now. The case as I say is neurological so it affects mainly the brain that perceives what the light that the eyes get. There are various different factors that leads to the condition, it could be a brain trauma or injury previously acquired, or underlying other neurological problems the like of autism or it could be psychological or unknown by nature."

"Doctor, is there anything I can do about it?" I asked

They were quite surprised with my response, but for me this was the best response I could give and the best concern I could I asked as of that moment. It was not quite surprising when the doctor said that I cannot distinguish faces because I knew it all along, I just did not tell my family about it. But with the doctor's affirmation, it somehow confirms that I am different.

"You are quite a strong child. Well, before that we will undergo some further examinations to know the cause for this. There are therapies also that you could attend to improve your compensatory strategies- in short you will be having a special lesson here in the hospital, it's like an additional subject from your school"

The consultation ended well but my mom was still in a state of how to tell the rest of the family regarding my condition.

I was quite worried at that time.

We arrived home and mom disclosed everything during dinner.

Conclusions and concerns were answered regarding the odd behaviors that I was exhibiting.

They were quite worried too but with the assurance that "Compensatory Strategies" will be learned, it will not be a difficult situation for all.

After several session with my therapy, the family was able to cope. The set what the others called "Identifiers" but personally I want it to be cool, I call them "Deter" from "determinants"

Then I applied it to the people whom I am close with, I set different Deters from them.

It was difficult at first but eventually I got along with it.

Now, that I am a professional, working in an institution, I went into nursing.

Yes, I was medically different which urged me to choose this path.

It is not a hindrance at all thanks to the standard protocol of verifying the patient's identity, I still got the right patients to take care with. I sometime asks the help of my co workers especially when patients are not able to talk.

Later on my practiced I was transferred in the Operating Room were in there is less interaction with patients which requires les facial recognition as well.

They say the common scent of a nurse is the alcohol ethanol due to the fact that we often times require self-disinfection for infection control purposes.

But for nurses in the OR it's either the smell of Povidone iodine or the surgical scrub solution which has more distinct and strong smell.

With the different chemicals that we are exposed every day and the different smell and scents that I encounter, I need some refresher to my nose, since my sense of smell is more developed due to my compensatory strategies.

There is this certain Deter that I look forward every after shift or if I am very stressed out. It calms my inner soul. It brings my spirit temporarily away from a certain struggle that I am in. that orangy scent that fusses with the lemon grass teleports me to a world of peace and calmness. I tried looking for that perfume from different stores and malls and I found it! To my excitement, I bought one and sprayed it to my body but it smells different. There is a missing ingredient when it spreads in the air. I feel frustrated, I cannot figure out the missing ingredient.

I tried to remember the experience with the scent. I sprayed some perfume that I bought and I laid down on my bed with just the table lamp shining on a midnight frigate.

I closed my eyes and tried to recall the scent that my entire being was longing for while comparing to the perfume that I bought. It was almost the same, the warm orange and the refreshing lemon grass is there. Then I started hearing a voice – yes there is a voice, a deep, soothing, calming and hypnotizing voice. It is the voice , one of the missing ingredients. To my frustrations, I tried digging down through my psyche where I've heard that voice and smell that scent.

I was drinking a mixed berries infused green tea while looking through the glasses and taking glances on the view outside from my favorite corner inside the café. It is in my favorite café just along the neighborhood. The voice comes from the counter, the owner of the café. It was just this moment I realized that I did not pay attention to where the scent was coming from because I got obsessed with the scent itself for it became a safe haven from a very stressful day, and to my obsession, I even search for it because I want it to come in handy. I missed the most important ingredient of that scent which is the person who creates a distinct potion with the perfume and his own body. A potion that was made to perfection that creating a new dimension of experience.

Then I've felt a warmth on my face while hearing the alarm, ALARM! Yes, an alarm.

I opened my eyes and it was day time already. It's already 8 am. I feel asleep while going down through the memory train.

Today is my restday and the first thing on my list is the café.

I got out from bed with an unexplainable excitement. I want to see my safe haven!

I got my self prepped to go out from the house. I walked through the streets on my way to the café. The weather is very good, with a slight cool breeze of the morning, the soothing morning breeze brushes through my face and hair and the warmth from the sun.

Then I arrived at the café, standing in front of the glass door, I looked down then faced the door again and opened it. I entered the café with a pounding heart – and I stopped upon hearing the ring of the bell on the door. I dazed through him and for the first time, the comfort, calmness and relaxed experienced was added with a fast and pounding heartbeat. I cannot explain how and what I am feeling right now. I woke up from the daydream when I heard his voice saying

"Hi Good Morning!"

"Oh, Hi Good morning! I'm sorry I haven't eaten any breakfast yet.... Low... blood... sugar.. maybe?" I responded while slowly approaching the counter with a very blunt affect.

I can hear his smirk, maybe because he wasn't expecting and I bet I really looked funny at that time and I feel so embarrassed. He offered me a small plate with a piece of cake on it.

"Take this caramel cheesecake first and get your order later. You might faint with low blood sugar."

I said thank you and I looked down, took the plate then went on my favorite spot.

I did not smell the caramel, the portal to the other dimension opened when I smelled his scent instead. I woke up from my dream last night and yet now I am daydreaming again.

I took glances on him and he caught me! I am on cardiac arrest right now, and as if all my blood rushed up to my head. I looked down on the table but I can smell his scent getting more prominent and he is in front on me,

"Are you okay? Do you feel any better now?"

"Ahhmmm...." I took sip of water and nodded.

"Is there anything else you want?"

"Ahm, I'll this breakfast of the day please."

"Okay, one order of breakfast of the day? How about your drinks?"

"Hot chocolate please."

"Is that all?"

"Yes." And I was stunned.

"I'll be back with your order within 15-20 minutes. Will that be okay?"

"Ahmmm.." I nodded and scanned through my bag. I was supposed to pretend to look for a book but thank God, I have a book inside my bag.

He smirked and went back to the counter. There were not much customers at that time since they've just opened which I find comforting because I really find myself funny today! I just hope he did not notice my odd behavior.

I did not notice the time. I was just staring at the introduction of the book then I noticed him standing again in front of me. I feel a little suffocated. My heart is beating rapidly.

"Here is your order. Just call me if you need anything else. I'm Isaiah"

"Isaiah... Thank you" I survived the struggle of having no air to speak out. It was  between normal voice and whisper with a rasp.

He smirked again and walked away from my spot.

I tried to divert my attention while having my meal. And so I faced through the glass wall taking a look outside. Busy people were walking through the streets. I am supposed to be one of these people right now but luckily I am here enjoying a meal, taking my precious time even just for a day.

Unconsciously, I glanced again at the counter and stared at Isaiah. He was taking the orders of the customer. I want to know if he smirks right now but I cannot see. I can only smell his scent but quite faint.

The Orange and Lemon Grass scent was completed. I found all the ingredients.